


Wondering...

by Quackyeon



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: M/M, descends into kylux trash, i dont know how this happened, lost boy kylo, musings, post intimacy, soft spot, this got out of hand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-30
Updated: 2016-01-30
Packaged: 2018-05-17 07:24:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5859646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quackyeon/pseuds/Quackyeon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hux wonders what's inside Kylo Ren's mind...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wondering...

**Author's Note:**

> I may have said this wasn't going to be a thing - and now look at me Kylux trash.   
> There is most likely a lot more where this came from.   
> I have a soft spot for Lost boy Kylo ok.

He always liked it when it was like this, when he was basking in the after glow of sex and Kylo Ren was sleeping next to him. It was always this way - Hux assumed Kylo went to sleep after to avoid having to have a conversation about what they did or what it meant. But Hux didn't mind, it was simple, they lived their lives on the ship and slept together when they wanted it. He didn't know if they needed a label, he didn't know if there was a label. Of course, he felt a connection with Kylo, but there wasn't much courtship involved. Kylo was always distanced, it was something Hux had got used to. He knew that Kylo had more feelings than he let on - but he knew that the other was either excessively expressive of how he felt, or completely shut off. For the rest of the galaxy it was a spectrum but for Kylo Ren it was either one or the other. Hux knew that it was more to do with his upbringing that Kylo would ever admit. Hux also knew not to press - and he didn't really want to force the other into telling him something about his family. Hux knew enough - he'd been told about Kylo's history, his relationship with the resistance and a ghost of what he imagined the real story was. He imagined it was filled with teenage angst and other things. 

He liked when it was like this, he didn't have to worry about Kylo looking into his mind, he only had to worry about the world around them. Kylo was lying on his chest, his head facing Hux - but the raven hair was scattered all over his face and it was hard to make out his features. Hux did like the way the others hair fell like some ethereal halo or something. He knew the other would never see it like that - so it was something that Hux kept to himself, a private thought that sometimes he thought about when he was lying in his own bed, thinking of the other. He would never admit this to Kylo and he knew that Kylo would probably never be looking at his mind to find that. He didn't need to know and he would never think to look for it. Hux moved in the bed, he knew he was going to leave to back to his own room soon, but he wanted to stay just a little longer. He wanted to stay to watch the boy just a bit longer. 

Hux knew that Kylo used to be a Jedi, and that's what he attributed this to. The way that Kylo always seemed to tense at the suggestion of their relationship. That he seemed almost ashamed that he gave into his feelings. That he wasn't some form of monk with no feelings. He wanted this just as much as Hux and that wasn't the way of the Jedi. Hux didn't know much about the Jedi life that Kylo had led - again it wasn't something that he would just bring up in conversation. But he knew that Jedi were celibate - and to grow up being told that you have to be one way, that it's somehow abnormal to love, to want to be loved, it doesn't leave someone. It was as if he still had that Jedi sense of guilt and it haunted him, the fact that he craved Hux's touch, that he'd initiate it, that he came while he was riding Hux's cock seemed to weigh on the other. 

Hux didn't really know why the other clung to that guilt, and honestly - he didn't care. It didn't stop what was between them. They couldn't help how they felt, they couldn't help what was between them, and there was nothing wrong with it. It was normal. But obviously, Hux couldn't just bring it up - because Kylo had never exactly said that he was guilty, and that he wanted to talk about it. He had never once wanted to talk about the past. He just wanted to focus on the now and future. He didn't want to talk about the life he led. All he ever would say was that Ben was dead. 

But Hux never really believed it. He saw Ben, when they were coming down from their high's and Kylo was panting, he'd turn and look at Hux before kissing him gently, only to pull back and close his eyes to fall asleep. He saw the vulnerable man who was still struggling with ghosts of his past. Hux didn't care, he liked vulnerable Kylo Ren just as much as he liked the guy who pushed him against the wall and kissed him till he couldn't breathe. Every person had multiple sides to them and that was what was interesting - Kylo Ren just tried to hide himself behind a (literal and figurative) mask. 

Hux sighed and moved to get up, he knew Kylo preferred it when he left. As if it meant he could pretend that it didn't happen and he hadn't broken that Jedi code (that he renounced). Hux didn't mind, he would just go with it, it was fine. He didn't mind the other lying to himself, because it was only a matter of time before they were kissing in dark corners, and making love in Kylo's room. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt an arm across his waist. "Stay", he looked down at Kylo who had turned, and moved to push his hair out of his eyes. "If you want... of course." Hux laughed - this was definitely the post-coital bliss talking. Even when Kylo was being fucked into the mattress he demanded. Hux moved to lie down and looked over at the boy. He moved to give him a gentle kiss. 

"Go back to sleep Kylo." Hux stroked the other's shoulder gently, before giving it a soft kiss. "I'm not going to leave tonight." 

"Good." Kylo said, although his eyes were already closed.


End file.
